My sister is registered on a matrimonial Muslim site and received the following message from a man looking for a second wife and who has 5 children:
salaamu alaikum ,
i am a salafi brother , 35 years old , i am living and working MashaAllah in Saudie arabie, Mekkah , i make the Hijrah 5 years ago MashaAllah , i am working like a english teacher in the day and like a sport & recreation instructor in the night .My Sheykhs are : Sheykh rabiee , Sheykh Abdul Muhsin , Sheykh Fawzaan , Sheykh Albaani , Sheykh Uthaimeen , Sheykh Bin Baaz and all the other Salafi Sheykhs .
I follow the true Aqiedah and Manhaj , the Qoran and the Sunnah according to the understanding of the pious / righteous predecessors , i have a beard and wear my clothes above the ankle including the work trousers , i have been on the Salafi dawah now for 7 years MashaAllah , i am looking for a pious salafi sister who adheres to the command of Allah and His Messenger ( saw ) above all else , to be my second wife jazakalaahukhairan .
I confess in my believe that the Most Gracious Allah rose over (istiwa)the (Mighty)Throne really in a matter that suits His Majesty and i confess in my believe in Tauwhid ( Islamic Monotheism .
May Allah forgive our sins and Bless us with Takwa and Protect us against all evil , May Allah also make it easy for all of us to do rightious deeds ,Amin.
My sister and I never heard of any of those sheikhs and how they are relevant to his profile, I do not know. I dislike this cult like mentality where people are hooked on every word of the cult leaders (in this case the sheikhs) and pointing out the length of time they have been a salafi. It’s almost as if to say that before salafiya they were practically non Muslims. Being a salafi is nothing more than being on the path of the sunnah, however its so called followers are portraying it as a sect with a different ideology than traditonal Islam. Their excessive focus and preoccupation with Sufis and Shias is inconsequential and bring no benefit to them. The only benefactors are the Ruling family who are concerned with the influence of the external forces such as the Shias. Anyone who thinks outside the box faces the wrath of the scholars who label them as deviants and innovators. This keeps the people submissive and maintains power structure. I do not consider moving to Saudi Arabia as hijra because you are recognized as a foreigner and do not have full civic rights unlike nationals. The contribution and ties to the society other than working there is limited. Many expatriates also return to their country when their children finish education because of the lack of employment opportunities and the second class status of their children. The concept of hijra in today’s world is applicable to the Jewish people who acquire Israeli citizenship and gain equal social and civil rights.
Marriage is the union of two people to form one family and this is the main reason I am against the practice of polygamy. It is irresponsible for a man living in a foreign land and supporting five children on a teacher’s salary would seek to create a second family. Even if he has enough money to get a second wife he should be investing it on his children’s education and future. The motivation behind getting a second wife is sex. Children also need quality time with their parents and leaving that to the wife while he is busy forming another family shows his recklessness. Not only is it an unattractive look to have your clothes above your ankle but it doesn’t say anything meaningful about your level of piety or personality. I have a friend who is an African Carribean convert, he is educated, has a good job and is a practising Muslim, but some sisters overlook those qualities and focus on the length of his beard and whether he can quote from the right salafi sheikhs. Their way of establishing the suitability of a marriage partner FOR LIFE is asking questions such as “Where is Allah? Who and Where are the Ulamaa” Do you wear a thobe?”
It is ironic that those acclaimed salafi men (like the one above) state that they are looking for a salafi woman, yet they contact non hijabis!!!!!!
Filed under: Salafis | Tagged: hijra, Marriage, Polygamy, Salafis
I had to re post this topic because i deleted it by mistake and lost the two comments that were made before. Sorry
Assalam Alaikum,
The scholars that the brother mentioned are some of the greatest Muslim scholars of our time. Some have died, but some are still living. These are the scholars that have called people back to what you have called “traditional Islam”. It is important for the brother to mention these names to a potential wife, so that she understands what manhaj her potential husband is on. The prophet warned us of the 73 sects of Muslims that will exist and how they all will be in the hell fire accept for one. A Muslim has an obligation to make sure that his or her spouse has the correct understanding of Islam, so that they can raise their children on the path that was given to us via the Prophet in his Sunnah, and the one that was understood by his companions. This will keep us out of the 72 failed sects.
Sister, as for your comments on hijrah?? That’s totally out of line. May Allah forgive us.
You may not personally practice polygamy, but it is lawful in Islam, and as a Muslim we have no right to be “against” what Allah has legislated and made legal.
Your point of hating when men where their pants above their ankle is a written testimony of hating what the Prophet has ordered Muslim men to do along with the beard.
Mashallah sister, you write in opposition to many things in Islam. Are you happy to be Muslim?
LOL, but he didn’t tell you the most important part: does he have a tricked-out car?
Yeah, I get matrimonial requests all the time – and not on matrimonial sites! And with pictures of me! And it says “sahiqa” very clearly… “anaa mithliyya, ya akhi.”
They don’t care.
I personally think the message is spam, but who knows. I would worry if he was an English teacher, the spelling and language is really bad.
Anyway, the attitude exists, unfortunately. It reminds me a Jon Foreman song:
http://www.myspace.com/jonforeman
I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
Instead of a show
your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands
you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands
Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around
WOW, I am really shocked by this post. These things are important to know. I am not Salifi at all, however I would understand why a person that is would want to say I am and have been for 7 yrs. It is so the person that he is contacting will either find that attractive or not. If you are a salif woman that would be VERY improtant. Why would she want to be with a man that knows less than she does or is following something different than she is.
and to know the scholars he follows is very important. what if the man listened men that are like the man Safas husband followed. I think that would be IMPORTANT to know. YOu need to know what a person thinks and who they listen to.
NOw on the beard and the pants. I am sorry but they are Sunnah. Everything a person does that is sunnah is a good thing. It really does not matter if YOU think it is unattractive to do it. It is Allah, swa, that matters. Things should be done for the sake of Allah or not done at all. I tell my son all the time little things like putting something on his head each time he goes out is such a small thing to do and the rewards are great cause they add up over a lifetime. So now it is becomming a habbit.
I am not Salif but would NOT think of marring a man that didnt have a beard becuase he chose not to. Ok, Some men cannot grow one but to cut it off just to look good…..NAH…..I am not saying he has to have a long think things all over his face but the effort must be there becuase that is a small sunnah. and yes that is something you would want to know in order to make a life long choice becuase it is LIFE LONG!!! you will raise children together and if the things that are important to one person are not important to another can make or break a deal. Being Muslim is more important that other things. We all get caught up in this stupid life stuff. I did with my wanting to get married but Allhumduillah I got smacked back in to reality. I know better and I know there are things that are more important than a man.
Just becuase we as women may not like the BIG P we can not say a person has no right to do it. It has its good and bad about it and their are people living in it and liking it. NOT many but that is becuase people do not do it fo rthe sake of ALLAh they do it for the sake of something else.
On the hijrah…….Im sorry you are dead wrong as a person that is here in the gulf and have been here and know there are MANY people that chose these places to live and do intend on staying. these Arab countries do have laws that will allow a person to stay after they have finished working. Many people here are buying homes that come with a visa so they will not have to leave once they are done with their jobs………another thing people are doing is comming to the Gulf becuase the money is good and saving to buy homes in other cheaper Muslim countries. so infact it is still hijrah.
Well i disagree with you, no matter how compatible a couple are, there are always minor differences and for a marriage to survive you have to overlook this and move on. When someone focuses on the sheikh their partner follows or length of trousers, they are missing the point which is that they are both MUSLIMS. It is a joke that muslims are divorcing upon silly things such as listening to a tape from a sufi sheikh or not wearing a thobe. To be different is normal and is expected, we cannot condition our partners to be clones of us. Regarding safas husband, anyone can twist religion to fulfill their desires regardless of who they follow. You can get a sheikh who will give you a fatwa that abortion is halal if you slaughter 4 camels and distribute it to the poor.
Will you also reject a man who does not pick rubbish from the street, because that is part of the sunnah? We are selective when it comes to the sunnah. The qualities you look for in a man are different to mine. I look for inner qualities, looks can be deceiving. He could have talked about his children, what type of father he is, how he treats his parents, what activities he does eg charity work, what are his positive and negative qualities.
Regardless of my personal opinion on polygamy, any man with 5 children and on a teacher’s salary and looking to get married is irresponsible. I wish women would not think so low of themselves and defend these types of men.
Unless you have a partner who is a national, a foreign country cannot give you the security that your country can on a long term basis. It was in 2002 that Dubai allowed foreigners to buy freehold property, the laws in other Gulf countries are restricted. The intention of living there and reality are different.
As salaamu alaikum
i think that being informed of the beliefs and practices of a potential spouse is important because some people can be extreme or from extreme sects, so this information is good to know.
What is more distasteful is NOT the pants to the ankles, or the wearing of a beard. Rick Ross wears a beard. Rastas wear their pants ankle high sometimes. These are outward things. What is distasteful is the idea that the ONLY sunnah some groups seek to revive are ones which are outward. Wearing the pants to the ankles does not make one pious. Wearing them that way for the sake of Allah, and not to be seen of men, is what is admirable.
In this day, we have to be reasonable. If a brother makes a questionable proposal, it is up to the sister to make the call. Sisters must determine what they want in a marriage and have enough foresight to make a decision which will be right for them.
It does read like spam mail though. Bad english abounds.
The Messenger of Allaah (salallaahu alayhi wa salam), who spoke from revelation, not his desires,
1.ORDERED THE MUSLIM MEN TO GROW THEIR BEARDS
AND
WEAR THEIR PANTS ABOVE THEIR ANKLES. HE SAID ALLAAH WON’T EVEN LOOK AT THE ONE WHO DOES NOT DO THIS.
WHOEVER DOES NOT DO THESE AND OTHER THINGS IS DISOBEYING ALLAAH’S COMMAND. IT’S A SIMPLE AS THAT.
Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem,
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,
Firstly, let me say that I am in total agreeance with our brother Abu Imraan, barak Allaahu feehi.
As a salafi myself, the first questions posed to a potential suitor would be those that could bring answers to establish his aqeedah and his manhaj. More important than a BSc a PhD and/or a high paying job.
Questions like:
From whom (meaning which scholars)do you seek your knowledge from, whether that be via tapes or books?
Which books of tawheed and 3aqeedah are you reading or have you read?
And yes, all of the scholars mentioned by the brother are known to be firm upon the sunnah and upon the understanding of the best of generations. May Allaah have mercy on those who have passed and preserve those who are with us today.
May Allaah azza wa jall grant us the ability to distinguish between the truth and falsehood and keep us steadfast.
I wanted to shed some light on why people may say they have been salafi for x amount of years.
This is not because we weren’t muslim, don’t accuse us of imputing kufr on those whom are not upon the correct manhaj. Of course we were muslim but were we upon the correct belief .. no, absolutely not.
I can say this with confidence because although I have been practicing Islam for the last 8 years it was only recently that my Lord, ta3ala guided me to the correct creed and methodology, that being the following of the righteous predecessors.
Barak Allaahu feekum,
wassalaamu alaikum
Ummu Abdillaah bint Najaati
http://www.salaf.com
I’m just reading this posting now … I agree with your viewpoint.
I’m also wondering where in the Qur’an it says that men have to wear a beard & wear pants above the ankle? I haven’t found it yet, but I’m not that knowledgeable ….
To my knowledge it is not in the Quran but hadiths. I think at the time of the prophet (pbuh) men who wore their thobes below the ankles did it out of pride and arrogance, it was a cultural practice in Arabia before Islam maybe. Majority of Muslim men do not have their pants above their ankles, i guess no one associates it with arrogance.
Ok, makes sense. Thank you.
The main problem I see is people who pick and choose the Sunnah without applying any critical thinking to the application of same. Beards, “highwaters”, hijrah and the like are pointless when you are cheating on your taxes; and neglecting your wife and children by spreading yourself to thin.
Most Americans I have met who “made hijrah” to the Gulf are not claiming all their income and paying their American taxes; and mixing it up with married men while trying to say it is halal because he will marry them as a 2nd wife.
I have never seen as many hypocritical Muslims as the American Salafis here in the Gulf. May Allah protect me from becoming contaminated by them and keep my faith strong. Ameen.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
The Messenger of Allaah (salallaahu alayhi wa salam), who spoke from revelation, not his desires,
1.ORDERED THE MUSLIM MEN TO GROW THEIR BEARDS
AND
WEAR THEIR PANTS ABOVE THEIR ANKLES. HE SAID ALLAAH WON’T EVEN LOOK AT THE ONE WHO DOES NOT DO THIS.
WHOEVER DOES NOT DO THESE AND OTHER THINGS IS DISOBEYING ALLAAH’S COMMAND. IT’S A SIMPLE AS THAT.
you whear a beard and a short pants and you spy on muslim and hate the oujahidin .well a nice religion made in saoudi by the saoudi for the saoudi
did the prophet also ordered the muslim to spy on muslim for the benefit of the koffar,and teling lies about the moujahidin and letting gaza burn weil enjoing listening to their chouyoukh and praising the attack of the jews on our children in gaza.
wallahi here in germany those talafiya have sold a muslim familly to the kafir police because the family believed in jihad,a man and his wife and two of is sisters 16 and 17 ,whom recently converted to islam .and by the way they are german,and those whom sold them are arabs,,so how do you find this????and when we asked then why do you spy for the kafir ,they reply our shouyouk orderd us to do so ,and this is amr bil marouf .soubhanna allah did the prophet not say that you should not leave in a kafir country..you talafiyya are very confiused,not only you leave here between the kafir but you spy fr them also
wallahi this rabee el madkhali is a nig dog and a sevent of the jews,in his sect you dont find a single mujahid ,they all runing after womens to have them in bed and looking for more money ,and sying on muslims and insulting the moujahidin and praising the koffar